Two Lost Souls
by house3er4ev
Summary: AU SPOILERS S.4. Perhaps a bit OOC, too. This story deals with Edith's interactions with Evelyn Napier both before and after her return from Switzerland.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I just couldn't get this story out of my head. Evelyn Napier seemed to interact with Edith a lot this season, though we never really saw those interactions. They always seemed to happen off screen. So this is what I came up with. **

After her conversation with her father, Edith sat on the settee in the library, staring at the glowing fire. Although she knew she loved Michael Gregson, she couldn't help but hate him for leaving her in this position. She was angry about his lack of contact, whether it was his fault or not. Something in the back of her mind told her that she had been played for fool, once again. Only this time, the consequences were lasting.

She didn't notice anybody enter the room until she felt the settee dip. She turned to see the Honorable Evelyn Napier sitting next to her, facing the opposite direction.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked.

"I don't believe that much," she smiled, humorously.

Evelyn just stared at her until she sighed. "Why is that I pick people that treat me like I am nothing?"

"I assume you are talking about Mr. Gregson?"

"Not exclusively." Edith was also thinking about Sir Anthony Strallan and Patrick Crawley before him. She knew that Anthony had loved her, but he was too much of a coward to face her family's disapproval. The latter was her first love, although he never paid much attention to her. Patrick had been born to be Mary's husband.

Evelyn stared into the darkness of the room, thinking of his hopes for this trip to Downton. He had thought that perhaps this time he would be able to capture Mary's attention. Once again, she proved elusive and uninterested in seeing him as anything other than a friend.

"We accept the love we think we deserve," Evelyn replied. He broke the silence a few minutes later, saying, "I knew Mr. Gregson before the war."

Evelyn knew of Michael Gregson's situation and what type of man he was. When he first heard that Edith was quite friendly with Gregson, he had been surprised that Lord and Lady Grantham would allow their daughter to communicate with such a man. Evelyn quickly realized that they simply did not know what type of man the editor of The Sketch was. When he was the expression on Edith's face, he knew that she did not get into a relationship with Gregson with her eyes completely closed. Clearly, she was aware that he was married.

Edith looked at him with a hint of fear seeping into her eyes. She knew exactly what the heir of Viscount Branksome was implying.

"What you must think of me? I know you know that I am the one who outed Mary's….role in Mr. Pamuk's death. I never apologized to you for that, did I?" She asked, rhetorically. "I know it was more than just Mary's reputation at stake. And now, I have been having an affair with a married man."

"I was, at first. For a long time, I thought you a horrid and selfish girl."

Edith noticed that he used the past tense. "But?"

"But then," Evelyn looked into her eyes, "during the war, I knew a few of the men who convalesced here. All they could talk about was Lady Edith, who would write the letters that they could not, who would ensure that they always had some form of entertainment, and who was always worried about them being comfortable."

"And now?"

"Now, I feel sorry for you. It's obvious that you are in love with Michael Gregson. I am sorry that you are in this situation, but I am sure that with time you will move on."

Edith's eyes closed. In relief or resignation, she did not know. Relief because Mr. Napier obviously didn't know just how far her relationship with Michael went. Resignation, because she couldn't afford to be offended by his pity. After receiving the telegram confirming her fate as the town slut, Edith was exhausted.

"If you'll excuse me, I think I will go up to bed now," she said, heading towards the door. When she was about to pull the handle, she turned back to look at Evelyn.

"Mr. Napier, if I may speak frankly?"

"Of course," Evelyn looked at her curiously.

"Stop wasting your efforts on my sister."

"I had thought the two of you were over your petty fights with each other?" asked Evelyn, surprise evident in his voice.

"Oh, I am. I have no more energy to waste on my sister. However, she is never going to accept you as more than a friend." Edith pulled open the door. "You simply aren't her type."

Edith closed the door behind her before he had a chance to respond.

Somehow, in that unexpected conversation, two lost souls found an ally in each other; they were two outsiders who understood the loneliness that the other felt.


	2. Chapter 2

Evelyn didn't know whether to affronted or indifferent that clearly neither Charles nor Lord Gillingham considered him as part of the competition for Mary's affections as they took jabs at each other at the dinner table. He supposed it was the latter, considering that he had begun to reassess his feelings for Lord Grantham's elder daughter. Evelyn was beginning to think that his interests lay with the wrong daughter.

Over the past few weeks of his and Charles' stay, many times he had found himself alone with Lady Edith, completely by accident. During those moments, the two would talk about anything and everything. Topics would range range from politics to childhood memories, barring the subjects of Mary and Mr. Gegson. Somehow, after the conversation in the library, Evelyn had been able to talk to Edith far more easily. In fact, he realized that she was far more intelligent than she let on.

An so, he found himself surprised when Cora announced Edith and Lady Painswick's plans to spend several months in Switzerland. Edith hadn't mentioned anything about a trip during their conversations. Evelyn wanted to ask her about it in more detail, but knew that dinner was not the right time or place; so he resolved to ask her before he and Charles left in the morning.

—

However, Evelyn was unable to catch a moment with Edith before their departure. As soon as dinner was over, Edith had retired to bed. That morning had been hectic as Evelyn finished his last minute packing, talked business with Charles, and spoke his goodbyes to Mary.

As the ladies lined up outside to say goodbye to him and the two other gentleman, Evelyn decided to take as risk.

After saying his goodbye and thank you to Lady Grantham, he turned to Edith. "Would it be alright if I wrote to you while you were in Switzerland?"

Edith's eyes widened in surprise before they became slightly anxious with hesitation. "I…." she began, about so say no. As Edith looked at Evelyn, she realized that there was no reason why she should decline. Firstly, they were in front of her sister and her mother. If Edith rejected him, no doubt she would hear an earful. Well, she was going to here an earful either, but it was better that earful be praise than admonishments. Secondly, she had come to enjoy the conversations she shared with Evelyn.

"Yes you may," she responded instead. "Actually, I would really enjoy that."

"Fantastic!" Evelyn smiled. His risk had paid off. "I look forward to hearing from you. Goodbye Lady Edith."

"Goodbye Mr. Napier."


	3. Chapter 3

September 15, 1922

Dear Lady Edith,

I was able to acquire your address from your mother. I hope that don't think that too forward of me; after all, you did agree that I could write to you.

How did your journey to the Alps been? I myself have never been to Switzerland, though I hear it's beautiful.

Returning to London has, unsurprisingly, been quite hectic. I miss the relaxing days of wondering Downton's magnificent grounds. I know Downton was never my home, but you and your family certainly made it seem so.

I must close this letter now as there is a pile of work waiting for my attention.

Sincerely,

E. Napier

September 27, 1922

Dear Mr. Napier,

Please do me the honor of dispensing with my title. I believe that we have known each other long enough that we could do without the formalities.

The trip to Switzerland has been quite exciting.I don't know if you heard, but Aunt Rosamund and I decided to travel without any of the servants, even her Lady's Maid. This adventure has proved quite challenging, but I am sure we will soon get used to the lack of help.

I have never really traveled beyond the British Isles, with exception of a trip to America to visit my mother's family when I was about eight years old.

To begin our French language enrichment, we stayed in Paris for two nights. I have never seen a more beautiful city in my life. We went to the Louvre, Les Tuileries, and the Eiffel Tower.

Then we spent the next four days on the train heading to Berne. We spent every night in the Dining Car where the food was delicious and the company fascinating. One man from South Africa told deeply interesting stories about life before the Boer War. There was another couple who were both artists. Their drawings were simply amazing.

After arriving in Berne, we changed to a local train that took us to Interlaken. It is absolutely gorgeous. The weather here is starting to cool down, but it hasn't gotten too bad yet. In fact, it's quite lovely. Aunt Rosamund and I spend many afternoons strolling through the local meadows. The surrounding mountains are simply majestic.

I must go as Aunt Rosamund is calling me in for tea. It was a joy to hear from you. I look forward to your next letter.

Sincerely,

Edith

October 9, 1922

Dear Edith,

If you insist that I call you by your first name, I insist you call me be mine.

It sounds as though you have found a new interest. Perhaps you should study art while you are on sabbatical? Or perhaps you should write a book about your experience on the train? I think it would be very interesting to read about the lives of all of the people you met on the train. I don't know if I ever told you, but I did read your column in The Sketch. You always articulated your opinion very well and I found the topics relevant.

Switzerland sounds like a wonderful dream. I wish I could drop everything and go on a trip. However, after the war, I can't stay idle for long periods of time. I always need something to keep me occupied. I think that's why I enjoy working so much. My father was very much against the idea at first, but I needed to do something. Sitting at home, looking over the affairs of the estate was tedious and mind numbing. I like the idea that I am making a difference by helping members of our class move into the future.

If I don't close this letter now, I will be late for a meeting with Charles. I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Evelyn

October 23, 1922

Dear Evelyn,

Your idea for a novel has given me some food for thought. I might have to steal that plot line. I will need something besides drawing to keep me busing during the coming months. You know, I used to draw as a child. I don't know why I stopped, come to think of it. Anyway, it has become quite chilly here, indicating that it will soon be too cold to go outside.

I understand your need to keep yourself occupied completely. I think that's part of the reason I started writing for The Sketch. I know it is selfish to me to wish for wartime, but I have to admit that I do. The war gave me purpose. After the armistice, I was restless. Perhaps that's why I pursued Sir Anthony Strallan so diligently. After our failed wedding, writing came as a relief.

I probably shouldn't have told you all of that. Granny would frown on me being so open with my feelings, but I can't seem to help myself these days. It must be something about the crisp, clean air out here that affects me.

Anyway, I am glad you enjoyed the column.

Sincerely,

Edith

_Over the course of the next five months, the letters continued in a similar fashion. Edith would relate her progress on her developing art skills and her newest novel, while Evelyn would share the latest gossip around London and keep Edith informed about his work. The pair quickly shared the type of familiar relationship that comes with constant contact over a long period time. They increasingly became more informal and trusting with each other, sharing the thoughts that they dare not tell anyone else. _

_However, Edith never revealed the true reason for her journey to the continent, despite many attempts on Evelyn's part to get her to release the information. And so, in February, when Edith's letters started to become shorter, melancholy and distant, Evelyn became worried._

March 1, 1923

Dear Edith,

Your last few letters have me worried. You sound very sad lately. Won't you please tell me what is bothering you so? Does it have anything to do with the purpose for you sabbatical? I wish you would just tell me the truth instead of fabricated justifications about learning French.

Along with this letter you will find a present for you. I hope that it will perhaps lift your spirits and make you think of me.

When I receive your next letter, I hope that I will find a better explanation for your recent mood.

Sincerely yours,

Evelyn


	4. Chapter 4

Evelyn never received a response from Edith. In fact, no one who had written Edith in that last month did. Edith refused to open a single piece of correspondence after she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on March 5, 1923. It had taken three days and lots of convincing from Aunt Rosamund for Edith to give the baby to Mr. and Mrs. Blosch, a young couple who were unable to have children.

After finally handing over baby Peter, as the Blosch's had decided to name their son, Edith had fallen into a deep depression. She had no interest in reading about the ongoings of London and Downton. Any way, she knew that, soon enough, she would have to return to England where she would be forced to pretend as if the last nine months never happened.

So for the rest of the month of March, Edith mourned the loss of her child, until, finally one day Rosamund announced that she had purchased the train tickets so that they could finally journey home.

Edith had hoped that she would be able to spend a few weeks at Painswick House, acclimating to being back in society, before having to deal with the presence of the rest of her family. However, that was not to be the case. Edith's failure to read her mother's latest letter had caused her to forget that the family would be in London for the Season as Rose was being presented this year.

For the first few hours of being back with the family, Edith thought she was doing alright. Her mask was firmly in place and she was busy answering questions from her mother and grandmother about her time in Switzerland. It was only at tea time that her facade slipped a little. She had forgotten baby George was brought to his mother for the daily viewing. Luckily, Tom had stayed behind in Yorkshire to manage the estate while everyone was away.

Claiming exhaustion, Edith quickly excused herself and locked herself in her room where she broke down crying.

For the few days, Edith carefully avoided tea time by taking long walks in the park across the street.

Four days after her return, Edith was taking her daily walk when she heard her name being called.

"Lady Edith!" a masculine voice said from behind her. She turned to see Evelyn Napier sitting on the bench that she had just passed.

"Mr. Napier, I am so sorry. I did not see you sitting there," she walked towards him. Evelyn grabbed her hand and kissed the top in greeting.

"How are you, Edith? You never answered my last letter."

"Oh yes, I am sorry about that. I suppose it got lost in the mail," she lied. She didn't want to tell Evelyn that she had been too depressed to answer any correspondence; that would only make him worry.

"Would you mind if I walked with you?" he asked, offering her his arm.

"No, that would be delightful actually." Edith linked her arm in his as they turned to stroll down the park's path.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Edith asked if Evelyn would remind her of what his letter said.

"Of course. I was wondering what had you so upset in those last couple of letters."

Edith stopped a for a second, before recovering from her shock. Her hope that Evelyn didn't notice her pause was futile. "I don't know what you are talking about," false confusion laced in her tone.

Evelyn stopped walking and turned to face. "Edith, please don't lie to me. I really am worried for you."

Edith could see that Evelyn was being genuine, but all the same, she feared his reaction to hearing that she had been pregnant and had given up the child. She hated herself for what she had done, and if she hated herself, how could she expect anyone to like her?

"I am afraid that you won't ever speak to me again if I told you," she said, her tone that of resignation.

"Don't you think that is my choice to make? Don't I deserve to be the one to decide if I could ever hate you as much as you seem to think I will? Please give me a chance, Edith," Evelyn implored.

Edith sighed. "I guess there's no escaping my sins." And thus, with tears streaming own her face, Edith let everything spill out about the last year, including Michael's decision to go to Germany to get a divorce, her anger towards her lost lover, how she became his lover in the first place, how it was only one time. She left nothing out.

Evelyn listened attentively, never once interrupting her except towards the end, when Edith became too choked up. After she had finished her story, he remained silent for several minutes, processing everything he had heard. If he was honest with himself, he had an inkling that this was why Edith had retreated to the continent. All of the details now clicked into place.

Finally, he spoke. "I am not angry, Edith. I certainly don't hate you."

"You don't?" Edith's surprise was evident not only in her voice but in her facial expression.

"Of course not. You see, how can anyone hate the person they love?"

Now Edith was really shocked. This certainly wasn't how she expected this conversation to be like. She had expected Evelyn to storm off and ask her to never contact him again. Never in her dreams did she think he loved her.

"Love? How could you possibly love me after everything I have done?" Edith cried, incredulously.

"I love you even more because of what you have done. Edith I can see that you are still torn up over this, that you think you made a mistake, that you blame yourself for being too weak. But you're not weak. Don't you see? You are so strong. You gave up the baby because he would have a better life, despite the fact that it would, and is, killing you on the inside. You knew the type of life that baby would most likely live with you and you ensured that, instead of living in infamy for being Lord Grantham's bastard grandson, Peter was with a loving family. If that isn't strength and love, then I don't know what is."

Evelyn shocked Edith with his speech. Firstly, She didn't realize how transparent she had been with her feelings. Secondly, the more Evelyn spoke, the more she could see that he truly was in love with her. His love for her scared Edith.

"I…I…I don't know what to say. Thank you for saying all of those things, but it doesn't change how I feel about the matter. In regards to your affections for me: you are so sweet Evelyn and had I not been pregnant, I would have fallen into your arms right now. But, as it is, I do not believe I can handle another relationship, especially right now."

Evelyn felt the sting of what she was saying. Rejection. Another rejection by a Crawley girl. But this time, he wasn't going to back off. That was the difference between his feelings for Mary and his feelings for Edith. He would fight for Edith like he never did for Mary.

"Alright. I understand your reluctance. But it doesn't change anything. Even if you could never love me like I do you, I will still stand by you Edith. Regardless of anything else, you are still my friend." Evelyn reached over and gently wiped the tears from her face.

"Oh Evelyn, you are the best friend that I have ever had. I must look a mess." Edith let out a small laugh. Now that she had told Evelyn everything and he still accepted her, she felt a weight off of her back.

"Yes, you do, but a beautiful mess." Edith smiled and Evelyn once again offered her his arm.

Evelyn walked Edith back to the entrance to the park from which Edith had entered. Edith did not think it would be a good idea if Evelyn escorted her back to Grantham House for that would only cause a scene. She really just wanted to go up to her room, get cleaned up and do some writing. She didn't want to deal with her family's reactions to her blotchy face and Evelyn's appearance with her.

"Edith, may I walk again with you tomorrow?" asked Evelyn.

"I would like that very much," Edith smiled at him before walking away.


	5. Chapter 5

Carson was surprised when he opened the door to see Evelyn Napier standing there. He had not been aware that Mr. Napier would be visiting today.

"Mr. Napier," greeted Carson before directing Evelyn to the drawing room. "The family is scattered about the house, but I shall inform Lady Mary of your arrival, if you would please wait here."

But Mr. Napier surprised Carson. "Actually, I am not here to see Mary. I am here to see Lady Edith."

Carson's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He had thought that Mr. Napier had been in love with Lady Mary, but it appeared as if he he had come to the wrong conclusion. Carson quickly recovered though, as it was not the place of the butler to have an opinion on the family's activities. However, that isn't to say that he wouldn't be informing of Mrs. Hughes of the latest development in his next letter.

"Of course, sir. I shall go inform her now." Carson turned on his heal and exited the drawing room.

The door opened a minute or two later, but it was not Edith as Evelyn had expected, but Lady Grantham and Lady Mary.

"Oh, Mr. Napier, what a surprise!" greeted Cora.

"Yes, I am sorry for dropping in on you like this," responded Evelyn.

"How are you Mr. Napier?" asked Mary. She was surprised to see her old friend as they hadn't spoken in quite some time despite, or perhaps in spite of, her relationship, for lack of a better word, with Charles Blake, Evelyn's boss.

"Well, Lady Mary. Thank you for asking. And yourself?"

"Quite well, thank you."

"Now what can we do for you Mr. Napier?" asked Cora. "Won't you stay for some tea?"

"Well, actually I…" Evelyn was unable to finish answering as Edith chose that moment to enter.

"I am so sorry, Evelyn. I was drawing and I lost track of time. I didn't mean to…" Edith looked up from where she was buttoning up her coat to see her mother and Mary looking at her in surprise. "Oh, mama! Mary! I didn't see you there!"

"I wasn't aware that you and Mr. Napier had any plans, Edith?" asked Cora.

"Nor that you were such good friends," said Mary, skeptically.

"Yes, well, I ran into Edith yesterday and she graciously accepted my invitation to tea today," said Evelyn, trying to move the conversation along so that he and Edith could get going. He could tell that she wasn't comfortable being in her sister and mother's presence. Clearly she did not inform her family about his and her walk the day before.

"Thank you for the invitation, but I will have to graciously decline. Shall we?" he asked Edith, who nodded in response.

The pair left Mary and Cora, who looked at each other with wonder in their eyes.

—

"I do apologize about all of that," said Edith, once the two were out of the house and onto the street.

"It's quite alright," responded Evelyn. "Your mother and father have been very good to me and despite my past feelings for Mary, we are still friends."

"I believe you mentioned something about tea?" questioned Edith.

"Yes, I did." The two walked a few blocks to a small bakery called _Suzette's_. After a few moments of deliberating over the choices, the two placed an order with one of the waiters.

"I have a question for you," Evelyn started nervously.

"Oh?" asked Edith, curiously.

"I believe your family will be attending Lord and Lady Domville's ball next week?"

"Yes, I believe Rose was looking forward to it. She met Lady Jessica Domville at the ball my parents hosted in honor of Rose. I myself was hoping to get out of it somehow. I just haven't felt up to going to these things. This past week I have been able to claim exhaustion due to my return, but I don't think my parents will accept that next week." As she continued speaking, she noticed Evelyn's face begin to fall. "But why do you bring it up?"

"Well I was hoping you may allow me to escort you," said Evelyn, hopefully.

"Oh, Evelyn," sighed Edith. "I thought we went over this yesterday. I am simply not ready for a courtship after all that has happened."

Evelyn was quick to correct her. "You misunderstand me. I meant as friends. I just thought that you might like someone to keep you company and to help you to pretend to be social. That is, if you are going."

"Would you really?" Edith began to get excited. It would be nice not having to pretend to be happy and relaxed after a long vacation. She would actually get to be herself around Evelyn. "Are you sure that you won't mind suffering my boring conversation all night when you could be dancing with the hundreds of bachelorettes that are bound to be there?"

"Edith, you could never be boring." Evelyn smiled at her genuine concern. He truly found her bewitching. A night with her sole attention sounded like a dream to him. "I rather think I am much too old for most of the ladies that shall be attending."

Edith laughed.

The couple enjoyed the rest of their meal, talking and laughing, before heading back to Grantham house, where they bid their goodbyes until the ball.


	6. Chapter 6

Saturday evening found Robert and Cora Crawley through Lord Domville's expansive gardens. Cora felt a sense of satisfaction; Mary was mending from the loss of Matthew, she even had a few suitors lining up to ask for her hand in marriage, and Rose was flourishing in the limelight of the season. The only one who didn't seem to be doing so well was Edith, but even that had changed in the last week. For the first week of her return, Edith seemed very detached from everything, lost in her own thoughts. However, since the appearance of Evelyn Napier, Edith's small world seemed to have expanded.

Edith's seemingly close relationship with Evelyn Napier had been quite the shock to the family. Everyone had assumed that he was still in love with Mary. Mary had told Cora that Evelyn had confessed as much the last time he had been at Downton. Once Cora had told Robert, he had confirmed that Edith herself thought the same thing.

As she thought about it, however, Cora realized that Evelyn was much more suited to Edith. Cora recalled the conversations he had with Evelyn when he had first visited them at Downton, some ten years earlier. He had told her that believed that marriage should be based on love. At the very least, Evelyn would do right by Edith and marry her for all of the right reasons.

Indeed. Overall, Cora was quite content. That was until she heard the subject of her thoughts being mentioned by a group of ladies that were just out of sight.

Cora was quick to shush her husband, who had been musing on state affairs. Though she knew it wasn't proper, she did want to hear what the women were saying.

"I am sorry, my dear," apologized Robert. "I shouldn't be boring you with all of this."

"No, Robert! Listen!" commanded Cora. She grabbed Robert's arm to keep him from walking forward and into the people she was trying to secretly listen to.

"I can't believe Lady Edith dared to show her face here," one voice said. Cora looked to her husband in confusion. _Why shouldn't Edith be here?_ thought Cora.

"I agree. She's looser than a French whore," laughed a second voice. Robert began to get angry. He wanted to interrupt these nasty women and give them a proper scolding, but Cora was holding him back. Robert could see the fury in her eyes, but he could also tell that she wanted to hear everything before they did something rash as her eyebrows were furrowed in concentration.

"What are you talking about?" asked a third voice. "I thought she was rather sweet when I met her at Michael Gregson's party last year."

"Oh Ruth, you are so naive sometimes," the second voice said. "My maid is friends with Lady Painswick's maid and she told me that Lady Painswick's maid saw Lady Edith coming into the house at six a.m. the morning after one of her outings with Michael Gregson."

Cora looked at Robert again, but this time the anger was placed with shock. How had she not heard of this?

"That explains so much!" exclaimed the first voice.

"What do you mean, Fiona?" asked Ruth.

"Well," Fiona started with a mischievous tone to her voice. "It makes sense doesn't it? She sleeps with Gregson and she disappears for several months. Look at her!" Unbeknownst to Robert and Cora, the three women turned their heads to look at Lady Edith Crawley, who was sitting with Mr. Evelyn Napier. "She's lost that boyish figure of hers. She's still plain looking but at least now she actually looks like a woman." Fiona laughed cruelly. "Clearly someone had a surprise baby."

At that moment, the three women heard a loud gasp. They quickly quieted down to see if anyone else was coming. After a moment of silence, they continued there conversation.

"Why else would she go on sabbatical to Switzerland?" asked Fiona.

"Are you sure?" asked Ruth. "Didn't you use to have a thing for Michael Gregson?"

"Of she didn't," said the first voice, mockingly. "He was just brief entertainment. Now, I suggest we go inside. I believe I see Lord Maxwell Lerwick."

The three women walked off, leaving Cora and Robert to digest what they had just heard.

"How dare they speak about Edith like that?" exclaimed Robert, angrily. "Those women are beyond nasty to be spreading such rumors."

When Cora didn't answer him, Robert looked down at her and called her name. "Cora, did you hear what I just said? Are you alright? You mustn't think on what those ghastly women just said."

"That's the thing, though Robert." Cora's eyes were filled with fear. "I don't think those are rumors."

"What?!" yelled Robert. "How could you possibly think any of that was true? For one thing, Edith would never behave like that. Secondly, we would know if she had been pregnant."

"Would we?" asked Cora, thoughtfully. "Edith's trip to Switzerland did seem to be a very abrupt decision. Edith had just been so miserable that I immediately agreed. I believed that she was heartbroken from Gregson's disappearance. I thought a trip would do her some good. Now that she's back, she looks more miserable than ever." Before Robert could interrupt her, Cora continued her musings. "I recall thinking it strange how relieved Edith looked when I agreed to Rosamund's plan. Furthermore, I remembering thinking it strange that the first thing Rosamund mentioned about Switzerland was their clean hospitals."

Robert heaved a heavy sigh as he considered his wife's words. "We didn't see her very much, either, in those months when Gregson was still around."

"We all thought that something was going on between them," Cora reminded him. "We just never imagined that it would have progressed quite that quickly."

"I think it's high time we had a private discussion with our daughter," said Robert, pulling his wife closer into his embrace.

"I think you're right," murmured Cora.


	7. Chapter 7

Edith was confused. All day her parents had been acting strangely towards her. Her mother kept shooting her sad, almost longing looks. Her father, on the other hand, seemed angry with her. At first, Edith had worried that her parents had found out her secret, but she quickly dismissed the thought. With the exception of Aunt Rosamund, Evelyn, and Granny, there was no way anyone could have known, let alone told them what had taken place in Switzerland.

She was editing a rough draft of the next chapter in her book, for it was still too early to go down to dinner, when she suddenly heard a knock on her door. Edith rested the papers on her bed before going to open the door. To her surprise, Ms. Baxter was at the door.

"Lord and Lady Grantham would like to see you, milady," said Baxter. "They are in her ladyship's bedroom."

"Thank you Baxter."

Edith walked into her mother's room to see her father standing at the window, looking out onto the grounds, and her mother seated in the chair in the corner of the room.

"Am I going to learn why the two of you have been acting so strangely today?" asked Edith with a curious half-smile on her lips.

Her father turned towards her with a stern expression on his face. "Yes, I believe you are."

"But first," said her mother, "we would like to know why you have been acting so strangely these past several months?"

Edith's brow furrowed. "Whatever do you mean? I haven't been here for several months, so how could I possibly be acting strangely for so long?"

"Before you left for Switzerland, I had believed your behavior to be the result of Mr. Gregson's departure. I agreed to your trip because I had presumed it would help you get over your heartbreak. For a while, from what I could tell from your letters, you seem to be doing better. But in the last few weeks of your sabbatical, the letters we received form you were not quite up to your usual standard. In fact, we didn't even receive any letters from you, only Rosamund, who avoided writing about you. Now you are back and you seem more miserable than ever," concluded Cora, accusation in her eyes.

"What we would like to know," said Robert, "is why you felt the need to spend several months in Switzerland."

Edith was alarmed. Clearly her parents had found something out, she just wasn't quite sure what, yet. Did they know that Michael was married? Did they know that she slept with him? Or did they know she had had his child?

"What do my motives even matter now?" Edith tried to end the conversation. She really didn't want to think about her trip more than she had to. For the last few days, she had been able to swallow the feelings of self-hatred and shame down. "I have already been to Switzerland and I am already back."

"It matters because your father and I overheard quite an interesting conversation last night," Cora said, acerbically. Edith thought back to last night, go over the conversations she had had, wondering if any of them would cause her parents suspicion. As far as she knew, none of them would. "So we are giving you one chance to tell us the truth Edith."

Edith considered carrying on with the charade, but frankly, she was just too tired of keeping all of these secrets.

"Which part would you like to know, mother?" demanded Edith. There were so many things her parents didn't know that Edith was having trouble understanding what they were referring to. "Would you like to know that I had an affair with Michael Gregson? Would you like to know how after only one evening, I became pregnant?" Cora gasped and Robert's face began to turn red, but Edith continued on. "Maybe you would like to know about how I almost got an…an..an abortion but was unable to go through with it? Or do you want to know how I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and had to give him up in order for this family to avoid scandal?" By now, Edith was sobbing.

This wasn't the conversation that any of them had expected. Cora and Robert had hoped, though doubted, that their daughter would say that the women were simply being petty. Whatever Edith had thought would happen, this certainly wasn't it.

"You went throughout all of that alone?" asked Cora. The Countess could not believe the things that her daughter was saying. She felt saddened that she had clearly failed as a parent to Edith, but she also felt betrayed.

"Fortunately, I wasn't alone," said Edith. "I had Aunt Rosamund."

Robert was angry. There was no doubt about that. How had he and Cora been so fooled this past year? he wondered. Of course his sister would have something to with it. He did his best to let Cora steer the conversation for fear that he would say all of the improper things that were running rampant through his head.

"Why didn't you ever tell us?" asked Cora. Robert, too, was particularly interested in this answer. While Mary did whatever she wanted and Sybil would agree with what her parents were telling her before continuing as she pleased, Edith had always been the one who was afraid to do anything against her parents wishes. She was the quiet one that wasn't afraid to tell her Mama and Papa when her sisters had behaved badly. She was the most honest one of the entire family, sometimes to a fault. So how she could keep all of this from them infuriated Robert even more.

"Honestly?" asked Edith. At her mother's nod she sighed, as if weighed down by a physical force. "Because I didn't and still don't trust that you would do what was best for me."

Her parents were visibly hurt by this revelation. Cora even started crying. "How could possibly think that?" demanded her father. "After everything we have provided for you."

"Exactly!" exclaimed Edith. "You provide things, material objects. All I wanted was your love and attention but I was never enough for you. I was the disappointment. Mary's indiscretions you will forgive, but mine - for some reason, my indiscretions are always unforgivable. In fact, it seems as though when I do something you disapprove of, it is a justification for your poorly veiled disdain for me," accused Edith. "I also refrained from telling you because, for some insane reason, I feared seeing the disgust and shame in your eyes. But now that I see it, I realize that it's no different than any of the looks you normally give me." Edith stood up and began walking to the door, her actions making her father's face even more purple.

"Where do you think you are going?" interrogated Robert. "We are not finished here!"

"But we are," answered Edith. "In fact, I daresay we have been for a while." Edith whipped around and glared furiously at her father and mother. "Are the two of you proud of yourselves? You now know the truth but at what cost? Hmm? Thank you for bringing everything back into the light and reminding me of what I have lost." Edith turned on her heal and slammed the door behind her.

She was so overcome with emotion, she was going to be sick. She ran to the bathroom, not noticing that she had passed Mary in the hallway. As soon as she entered the bathroom, she locked the door and fell to her knees, vomiting in the toilet.

After finishing being sick, she rested her cheek against the porcelain and tried to breathe deeply. She had to decide what to do now. She knew she could always stay with Rosamund, but she felt that after these last months, she had overstayed her welcome. Anyway, she didn't want to be in London while her parents were there. After a while, she came to the conclusion that, while her parents were in London, for they wouldn't dare leave Rose, Edith would return to Downton, where she would be alone and could figure out her next plan of attack. At the very least, it would giver her a respite from her family and an opportunity to get her things together in case her parents would disown her. At this point, she figured that would be a very likely outcome.

Edith stood up and washed her face. She fixed her appearance while looking into the mirror. What she saw saddened her. Instead of the full and innocent look she had before the debacle with Anthony Strallan, Edith's appearance looked tired and pale. Her face that had once been chubby with baby fat left over from youth now cut sharper angles.

She breathed deeply once more before exiting the bathroom. Instead of returning to her bedroom, Edith went downstairs to look for Mr. Carson.

She knocked on his office door.

"Come in," his deep, rumbling voice called. Carson was surprised to see Lady Edith at the door. He rarely had much interaction with her and she certainly never come downstairs. Carson immediately stood up, as was proper.

"What can I help you with milady?" It was evident by the red rims of her eyes that she had been crying. While Lady Edith had never been his favorite, that spot was reserved forever for Lady Mary, it didn't mean he didn't care for her. Carson first priority was the Crawley family. When one was distressed, he was distressed. "Is everything alright?"

"No it's not," she answered truthfully. "But no matter. I have come to ask you to inform Mrs. Hughes that I will be returning to Downton in the morning on the earliest train possible." Carson was alarmed at this news. Firstly, he wondered what would make the her return so quickly. After all, she had only just arrived a week ago. Furthermore, the season wasn't closet to being finished. Secondly, did this mean the entire family was leaving? Lastly, Mrs. Hughes had all the maids doing the annual cleaning out of the house. How could they possibly do their wok if the family was returning?

"Is the whole family returning, milady?" asked Carson.

"No, just myself," responded Edith. "Carson, I will also need you to send my maid up with my bags, as soon as possible."

"Of course, my lady. If there is anything else I can do?"

"Could you please make my excuses at dinner, Carson? I am not feeling very well and I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow."

"Of course milady."

Edith nodded her thanks before leaving to return upstairs. Carson was left wondering what had happened and how the family would be affected.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hello, Mr. Carson," greeted Evelyn the next afternoon. "Is Lady Edith here?"

Carson was about to respond to Mr. Napier, but before he could, Lady Grantham's voice reached the butler's ears.

"Carson, have you seen Lady Edith? I have been looking for her all morning."

The butler looked at her Ladyship in confusion. Didn't she know of her daughter's early departure that morning?

Cora spotted Evelyn. "Oh Mr. Napier. I apologize. I didn't see you there. Did you enjoy the ball the other day?" Cora stuck out her hand for Mr. Napier to shake.

"Indeed I did, Lady Grantham. And yourself?" he asked in return.

"It certainly was very…interesting," Cora smiled benevolently. "I assume you are here for Edith?" In her anger and shock the night before, Cora had forgotten all about Evelyn Napier's friendship with her daughter. Now she wondered if Edith was stringing him along as well. Her thoughts brought her back to the reason she had come to find Carson in the first place.

"Well Carson?" she turned towards the butler.

"I thought you knew m'lady," Carson's thick eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Lady Edith left this morning."

"Left?" exclaimed Cora. "What do you mean she 'left'? Where did she go?" Cora was highly alarmed by this information and as she continued speaking, she become more than slightly hysterical.

Evelyn, too, was surprised. He knew they didn't exactly have plans for that day but she hadn't informed him that she was planning on leaving.

"She returned to Downton, m'lady," Carson informed Cora. Fear took hold of Cora at hearing of her daughter's whereabouts. She worried that Edith's leaving meant that they had officially lost their daughter. After all, Edith had said as much during their fight the night before.

"Robert! Robert! Robert!" Cora yelled for her husband. This was all their fault. If they had just paid more attention to Edith in the first place, none of this would have happened.

Robert came running. "What on earth is the matter my dear? Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

"Edith's left!" cried Cora. "She's return to Downton!"

Robert breathed a sigh of relief. He had thought something much worse had happened. He smoothed his arms over his wife's shoulders as he tried to placate her. "Darling, perhaps it is for the best."

Cora pulled back from her husband's arms. "How can you say that? How can you be so calm? Our daughter left without telling us indicating that we have most likely lost her for good and you tell me it is for the best!" Cora was hurt. She knew her husband was mad at their daughter, as was she, but she never thought he would want their daughter to leave.

"All I am saying that perhaps there should be some space between us. A lot of angry words were spoken last night, Cora. We all need time to calm down." Robert was the kind of man who either became hysterical or stuck his head in the sand when events occurred that didn't concur with they way he believed how life should be. Now Edith had practically handed him an opportunity to do the latter. Perhaps ignoring the problem would make it go away? At least he hoped so.

"I see she's finally told you," sounded the voice of the Dowager Countess, the sound accompanied by the thump of her cane.

"Told us?" asked Robert. At the same time his wife blurted out, "You knew?"

"Of course I knew. I have told you time and again, there's very little that goes on in this family that I don't know."

Evelyn, who had been forgotten in the drama of the last view minutes, was now addressed by the Dowager Countess when she tactfully reminded the Count and Countess of their guest. "Oh hello Mr. Napier. I am sorry for my son and his wife's manners. Its not at all appropriate to be arguing in front of guests."

"Not to worry, your ladyship. If I could be of any help in any way, please let me know," Evelyn requested.

"I very much doubt it but thank you," said the Dowager.

"At the risk of sounding impertinent, may I make a suggestion?" Evelyn asked, looking to all three of the Crawleys. "I assume the argument with Edith you mentioned pertained to Lady Edith's reasons for going to Switzerland?"

"I take it she told you then, Mr. Napier?" asked Cora.

"Did everyone know except us?" Robert said angrily when he saw Evelyn's nod of confirmation.

Unlike the other two, Violet wasn't wholly shocked that Edith chose to confide in this man. Rosamund had kept Violet informed of the letters that had passed between Edith and Mr. Napier while they were in the Alps and she had seen for herself how close the two had become over the last week.

"Well, perhaps I could go to Downton and ensure that Edith's safety. Your obviously very busy with Rose's Season and honestly, I'm not sure Edith would appreciate you following her at this moment. The occurrences in Switzerland make her very distraught and I fear that seeing you would only make matters worse."

Both Cora and Robert were about to reject Evelyn's plan, the former because she didn't agree that separation would help and the latter because he didn't like what he was hearing, despite knowing it was the truth, when the Dowager Countess interjected.

"I think that's an excellent plan."

"You do?" asked both Robert and Cora simultaneously as they turned towards the elderly woman.

"Yes I do. Edith is not well, despite how she may seem. However, I would suggest that Carson inform Mrs. Hughes of Evelyn's arrival, and perhaps to get a report of how Edith is doing."

Carson nodded in agreement. "Will Mr. Napier be staying for dinner?" asked Carson, looking towards Cora, who in turn looked to Mr. Napier.

"You are more than welcome to," invited Cora.

"Thank you, but I don't think I shall. I should return home and make sure my affairs are in order. I have to go into the office in the morning, but I should be at Downton in time for dinner."

"Thank you ever so much, Mr. Napier," said Cora.

"It's not a problem." Evelyn firmly shook Robert's hand and nodded to the Dowager before making his exit.

"When you have news from Mrs. Hughes, Carson, please let me know."

"Of course m'lady."


	9. Chapter 9

Unlike Evelyn's past arrivals, Mrs. Hughes was the one to greet him after Jimmy, one of the footmen, had opened the door.

"Good evening, Mr. Napier."

"Good evening Mrs. Hughes." Evelyn handed his hat and coat to the footman.

"I have the room you stayed in last time all set up for you. Jimmy will carry your bags up and serve as your valet."

"Thank you Mrs. Hughes. Tell me, how is Lady Edith, truthfully?" asked Evelyn, worry in his eyes.

Mrs. Hughes regarded the young man, deciding how much to tell him. She had been surprised when Carson had informed her that Mr. Napier would be coming and that he had become quite close with the middle daughter of the Earl of Grantham. Last she had known, he had been interested in the blessed Lady Mary. Now she could see that his affections had changed. Love and concern shined through his eyes like a fire in a dark room.

"Not well sir. She arrived yesterday morning and slept through midday today."

"I see," said Evelyn. Obviously, whatever was said between Edith and her parents shook her a great deal. "And where is she now?"

For a moment, Mrs. Hughes hesitated. "She's in the library, sir. But…?"

"But what, Mrs Hughes?"

"If I'm not mistaken, sir, she stopped drinking out of the glass a while ago and has simply started drinking from the bottle."

This worried Evelyn a great deal. During the many hours he had spent at Downton, he had never seen more than two glasses of wine, and that was during dinner.

"Excuse me," he said to Mrs. Hughes, immediately heading towards the library to look for Edith.

He found her sitting on the floor, staring into the fire, holding a bottle of scotch that was nearly empty in her hand. Next to her lay the empty glass carafe that was usually on the drinks cart and an empty glass.

"Oh Edith," sighed Evelyn. Edith's head turned towards him at the sound of his voice.

"Oh it's Evelyn!" exclaimed Edith, her speech slightly slurred. "I always thought that was more a girl's name. Evelyn. Evie. Lyn. Anywho….have you come to see the whore of London?"

"Edith don't say that. You are far from a whore."

Edith laughed bitterly. "But I am whore." She took another swig of the alcohol in her hand. "I have been thinking about this all day. I slept with the man who paid me for work. That makes me no better than a prosthetic. No, that wasn't right..…prosthe…proshti..prostitute." The long words with multiple syllables gave her trouble.

"Edith please don't speak like this."

"Why? Because it's unbecoming of a lady?" asked Edith. "Well, I already told you. I am not a lady. I am a slut. Everyone thinks so. Just ask mama and papa."

"I don't think so," Evelyn said. "I think you have lost your way."

"There are only two people in this world that have loved me."

"Oh?" asked Evelyn as he sat down on the couch.

"The first was Sybil." Tears began streaming down her face at the thought of her dead sister. "D'ya know what she told me once?" Before Evelyn could answer, Edith continued. "She told me that I was much nicer than I was before the war. She's the only one who truly took any notice of me. She was also the only one who really supported my marriage to Anthony Strallan…the cad." Again Edith took another large gulp of the golden drink. "Yup. My sister was the purest of all gold. Sybil I mean. Not Mary. She's a bitch." Evelyn's eyes went up in surprise. If the situation wasn't so sad, he would have chuckled. "I asked her, as we stood over Sybil's cold dead body if we could be friends."

Edith paused in remembrance and took another drink. "What did she say?" asked Evelyn, already having an idea of the answer.

"She basically told me that there was no way in hell we would ever be close." Suddenly Edith turned her head towards Evelyn. "I tried, Evie. I tried to be the good girl, to do everything they asked, to be friends with Mary. You know that right?" she pleaded, as if Evelyn's answer would bring some sort of salvation for her.

Evelyn tried to placate her, "Of course I know that Edith."

Edith nodded. "But nobody else cared. Even my own parents never cared! I worried so much about what they thought about me. I tried everything to get them to care. But it was always about blessed bloody Mary. She has a man die on her bed and they forgive her. I give up a baby for them and they treat me like stray dog. I should have just done what I wanted to in the first place. Instead, I don't know where my baby boy is or who he is with. I can't stop thinking about him." Edith's tears turned into full on sobs that made her body convulse. Evelyn rushed to sit down next to her and to put his arms around her. He grabbed the bottle from her hand, set it on the floor behind him, and pulled her into his embrace. As he held her, he whispered words of love and support in her ear and kissed the top of her head.

After a while, Edith stopped sobbing and started hiccuping as she began to calm down.

"Come, love," Evelyn said, standing up and ringing the bell for Mrs. Hughes before bending back down again to lift her up bridal style. "Let's get you cleaned and sobered up."

Carrying Edith in his arms, who was still mumbling something about Peter and Michael Gregson, Evelyn met Mrs. Hughes just outside the library and asked her to direct him to Edith's bedroom.

"Perhaps you could help Lady Edith wash up and change while I run down to the kitchen to fetch us something to eat?" suggested Evelyn as they walked up the stairs.

Mrs. Hughes agreed and when they reached the bedroom, the housekeeper showed him the adjoining bathroom and had him place the drunken daughter of the Earl of Grantham in the empty bathtub.

"I'll be back soon, Edith," Evelyn said to the young woman, as if talking to a child. "Mrs. Hughes will help you get cleaned up and then we will put something into your stomach."

Evelyn exited the room and Mrs. Hughes set about taking off Edith's clothes and turning on the faucets. Edith spluttered at first at having the warm water poured onto her head but soon recovered, however, not enough to stop herself from revealing secret thoughts that she had long kept hidden.

"D'ya know what my problem is, Hughsie?" If the situation had been different, Elsie Hughes might have laughed at the nickname Lady Edith had bestowed on her. Instead of answering, Elsie just hummed to indicate that she was listening as she knew the drunken young woman would tell her whether or not she said anything.

"I always attract unavailable men!" declared Edith. Elsie's eyebrows rose as she set about washing the woman. "First there was Patrick who was chained to Mary from the beginning." That statement didn't shock Elsie, although she didn't believed that Edith was able to recognize that. When Mr. Crawley went down in the Titanic, she had felt badly for the young girl in front of her, as everyone was aware of how Edith had felt about the man. However, Edith's next revelation did startle her; so much so that she nearly dropped the wash cloth she was holding.

"Then there was that farmer during the war, Drake or something like that. He liked me too, even kissed me once. I don't think his wife liked that too much." Edith giggled. "Never saw him again after that."

"Then there was Anthony," said Edith. For a moment, Elsie looked confused. She knew for a fact that Sir Anthony Strallan was single, else the family would never have let that disastrous situation get so far. Edith, in a moment of clarity, must of seen Elsie's face for she quickly clarified. "I mean, it was foolish of me to think that I could help him get over his deep emotional issues."

"And lastly there was Michael," sighed Edith, once again lost in her reflections. "Another married man and my boss to boot." Elsie was once again flabbergasted. Had no one realized that the man who Edith always seemed to spend time with those months after Mr. Matthew died was married? Why didn't anyone look into his past? But the answer came to her quickly. They were all worried poor Lady Mary. Unlike Mr. Carson, who always worried about the family, Elsie knew where she stood with them. They were her employers and that was all. But now she did wonder if she should have paid closer attention to Lady Edith. Everyone downstairs had their favorites, it was true. Mr. Carson and Anna both adored Lady Mary. Mrs. Patmore and Thomas had been close with Lady Sybil, may she rest in peace. Even she, who proclaimed not to feel anything beyond a working relationship with the family, felt particularly close to Mrs. Crawley. But she supposed that was different. After all, Mrs. Crawley never did act like the rest. Now she wondered if she should've been the one paying more attention to Lady Edith. After all, Lord knows his lordship and her ladyship never did. Furthermore, isn't it her job to make sure everything runs smoothly? Mr. Carson would argue that ensuring that the family was looked after was a part of that.

Finally Edith fell silent, too lost in her own musings, and Elsie finished getting her cleaned up and changed. Mrs. Hughes grabbed Edith's underthings, nightgown, and dressing robe and helped her get dressed.

The two women returned to the bedroom to find Mr. Napier sitting in the chair next to the desk that was laden with food.

"I'm afraid Mrs. Patmore set me up with enough to feed an army," Evelyn smiled shyly. "Thank you so much, Mrs. Hughes. For everything."

"Of course, Mr. Napier."

"I'll take over from here." Mrs. Hughes knew a dismissal when she heard one. She was about to deny his subtle command, citing something about propriety, but decided against it. She had seen everything Mr. Napier had done tonight and could tell that he genuinely cared for, if not loved, Lady Edith.

"Goodnight sir."

Evelyn stood up and took hold of Edith, making sure to keep her steady on her feet. He walked her over to the bed and had her sit against the pillows at the headboard.

"Comfy?" he asked. She nodded in response.

"What would you like to eat? We have some fruit, some cucumber sandwiches, lots of dinner rolls…?" He grabbed the chair from the desk and put it next to the bed.

"Umm….a roll please." It seemed that the bath had done her a great deal of good, though she would still have a headache in the morning. Evelyn grabbed a roll for Edith and a sandwich for himself and set down on the chair.

For a few minutes, the room was silent except for the sound of teeth crunching on bread.

"Why are you doing this, Evelyn?" Edith quietly voiced the question that had been bothering her since they had gotten upstairs.

"Hmm?" asked Evelyn, who had been lost in his own thoughts.

"Why are you here?" This time, Edith spoke more clearly.

"I am here because your parents asked me to come." Evelyn saw Edith's head drop, as if she was disappointed, and felt a flare of hope in his chest. He rested his sandwich on the plate in his lap and grabbed one of her hands in both of his. "I am also here because I _love _you and I worry about you and I am doing everything in my power to show you how much I care." Edith's head raised up at his confession and she looked him in the eyes. She searched his face for any insincerity. When all she could find was genuine concern and blatant love, she relaxed back into the pillows, but didn't let go of his hand for the rest of their small meal.

Once they were finished, Evelyn collected their plates and put the tray of food outside of the door, knowing that someone would come and collect the dishes. He kissed Edith on the head and said goodnight.

Suddenly Edith called his name. He turned to look at her.

"Will you stay with me? Please."

He looked at her for a long moment, before nodding. He took off his jacket and waistcoat, unbuttoned his cuffs and put the cufflinks on the desk, and bent down to take off his socks and the suspenders holding them up. He went around the bed and laid on top of the sheets. Edith scooted up close to him and put her head on his chest as he put his arm around her.

It had been a rough day for both of them and the two were exhausted. As Evelyn closed his eyes, he thought of something.

"Edith?"

"Hmm…" came the muffled response.

"Tonight. You said there were two people that loved you. The first you said was Sybil. Who was the second?"

For few minutes there was silence before Edith finally answered. "I think I should correct my statement. There are actually three people. Sybil, Aunt Rosamund and you."

Evelyn smiled in contentment and kissed the top of her head. Although he knew she didn't love him yet, it was clear she trusted him. Trust, he believed, was one of the most important steps on the path to love.


	10. Chapter 10

Edith slowly opened her eyes only to find Evelyn Napier staring down at her with a small smile on his face.

"Hi," she said shyly.

"Hi." Evelyn's smile grew. "How are you feeling?"

"My head is pounding painfully, but, other than that, I am quite content. How long have you been awake?"

"Quite awhile. I have been watching you sleep for the last forty minutes or so."

Edith's eyebrows rose. "Oh? That can't possibly have been that interesting."

"But it was," Evelyn declared adamantly. "I have never seen you so relaxed. It's quite different from that brave front you put on every day."

Edith ducked her head and blushed prettily. "I am sure last night's fiasco wasn't something you see very often either."

"No, it's not." Evelyn's index finger lifted Edith's chin so that her eyes stared directly into his. "But even so, whenever you need me, Edith, I'll be there for you. And it wasn't a fiasco. I know the English tradition of hiding your emotions beneath a stone mask has been instilled in you since infancy, but you never have to hide them with me."

When Edith didn't say anything for a few moments, Evelyn asked, "Do I make myself clear?"

Edith nodded. "Yes. Very clear."

"Good," said Evelyn. For a while the two lay in comfortable silence as Edith tried to wish away her headache in vain and Evelyn ruminated over his thoughts. Finally, Evelyn decided to fill Edith in on what had him so pensive.

"While you were asleep, I came to a decision," he began. When Edith looked to him in askance, he continued, "I want to marry you." Edith sat up in shock, but before she could say anything, Evelyn held up his hand to stop her. "Not immediately. I want to court you first. Properly. Because you deserve it Edith. You really do. You deserve to be treated like the beautiful woman you are." Evelyn palmed Edith's cheek and swiped his thumb across the tracks of tears that had been left behind from yesterday's events. Fresh tears began to pool in Edith's eyes. "Please," Evelyn begged, "let me show you how much I love you and care for you as you truly deserve. Will you give me this chance Edith?" Edith blinked and a single drop glided down her face. Slowly, Edith nodded.

Evelyn's smile turned into a full grin of happiness. "Fantastic. Now I don't want to see any more tears from you because for the rest of my days I intend to make sure that you never have cause for sadness. Now get ready for today while I speak with Mrs. Hughes about the surprise I have planned for us today."

With butterflies of happiness fluttering in his chest, Evelyn kissed Edith on the forehead, rung the bell for the maid and swiftly got out of bed and went out the door, leaving Edith to attempt to process everything that had happened in the last hour.

A cup of coffee and an hour and a half later, Edith walked down the stairs to find Evelyn waiting for her with a picnic basked on his arm.

"Good morning, Lady Edith." Evelyn greeted her formally in an attempt to restore normality, both for the two of them and for any staff that may be lingering around. He winked at her to make her understand that as soon as they were alone, there would be no need for them to remain so dignified.

"Good morning, Mister Napier," Edith smiled at him. "Is that basket a part of your plans for today?" she asked as she reached him.

Evelyn offered her his arm before answering. "Yes, I thought we might go for drive and find a pretty spot some place where we can luncheon."

"That sounds absolutely lovely." The two walked outside, but the car wasn't in sight. "Where's the motor?"

"Well, that's the thing,"Evelyn started sheepishly, "the driver is in London with the family. I would drive myself, but I have no experience with your cars. I was wondering if you would take the wheel."

Edith stared at him. She hadn't been driving since her failure of wedding. First, it reminded her too much of Sir Anthony. Then, after Matthew's accident, she didn't drive out of respect for her sister and her parents. She considered the idea for a long moment before she nodded. It was time to get back into the driver's seat, both literally and metaphorically.

"Alright. Allow me a few minutes to run downstairs and grab the car."

Evelyn was happy that Edith accepted his plan. They had talked of her driving when he was last at Downton. He knew how much she had loved driving and her reasons for not doing so. He knew that if he was going to help her heal, then returning to doing the things she loved for her own sake was a part of that.

Evelyn lay on his side facing Edith as she sipped from her glass of wine. Mrs. Patmore had packed the pair all sorts of picnic food: bread, cheese, a selection of cold cuts, potato salad, cut up watermelon, deviled eggs, and an apple tart for dessert. They had found a beautiful spot near a stream, just off the road to Ripon and were currently sitting beneath an apple tree.

"How did it feel to be driving again?" asked Evelyn as he bit into an egg.

"Nice," Edith smiled.

"You sound surprised?" observed Evelyn.

"I am. It's been so long since I have done anything like that. I feared I would forget everything."

"Well, lucky for us, you didn't. In fact, I thought you drove quite well."

Edith blushed at his praise. "Oh? Well thank you."

She regarded Evelyn as they ate; closely observing all of his mannerisms. She watched his lips form words, his hands create gestures, and they way his chest sucked in and protruded out as he breathed. In all of his actions, she looked for confirmation of his professed love. The interactions, for lack of a better word, that she had with men had caused her to become wary of any attention she received from the opposite sex. The only problem, she thought, was that she was entirely too comfortable with Evelyn.

Edith noticed he had a bit of the cream from the deviled egg on his face. "Evelyn, you have a little…," she gestured to his face. Evelyn attempted to wipe it off, but completely missed the area that Edith had been gesturing to, making her laugh. She leaned forward to wipe it off herself. Just as her hand cupped his cheek, their eyes met. Edith's thumb swiped across the cream on his face while his eyes stared into the depths of hers. Just as she was pulling her hand away, his long fingers encircled her wrist and he brought her palm back to his face. He kissed the bottom of her hand before entwining his fingers with hers.

The two of them stared at their mixed fingers, her dainty paw in his large, strong one. Finally, he broke the silence that had settled up on them. "You know, Edith, I also sent a present for you with that last letter I sent to you."

"You did?"

"Yes, I had hoped it might cheer you up."

"Oh no! I don't believe I remember where the letters I received in that last month are! I was just so distraught." Edith felt badly for not ever opening her mail. "I hope you didn't send anything terribly expensive."

"No. I didn't. Please don't stress about it. I just bought you a book. I was able to acquire another copy."

"Oh good. I'd hate to think your gift went to waste."

"I have it here for you." He reached into the picnic basket and pulled out a copy of Edith Wharton's The Age of Innocence. "I saw it while passing the bookstore on my way home from work one day and I remembered that we had spoke about it."

"Oh, Evelyn! That is terribly sweet of you."

"You're welcome."

The next couple of hours were spent chatting and eating. For a while, Evelyn read the first chapter of the book to Edith. The picnic came to a close when all the food was gone and Evelyn was tired of reading.

"Evelyn, I wondered if we might go into Ripon before returning to Downton," proposed Edith.

"Of course. I don't see why not. Are you looking for something in particular?"

"Yes. I thought I might pick up a gift for Mrs. Hughes. She really went above and beyond last night."

"I agree. You are very lucky to have her as your housekeeper."

"I am not sure what we would do without her."

The picnic was packed up and as the couple walked back to the automobile, her hand somehow managed to slip into his.


	11. Chapter 11

Evelyn and Edith walked into Downton laughing, their hands still clutched in each other's. Edith felt happier than she had in a long time. Although she wasn't even close to back to normal, today, she considered, was a good day. Evelyn handed the picnic basket to Jimmy, along with his coat and hat while Edith held onto the gift she had bought in Ripon for Mrs. Hughes.

"Excuse me, m'lady."

"Yes, James?" asked Edith.

"Lady Rosamund Painswick is waiting for you in the library." That stopped Edith short. Of course she loved her aunt and was grateful for all she did, but so far the day had been like a dream and Rosamund being there would only serve to bring her back to earth.

She waited for James to leave before grabbing Evelyn's arm and pulling him close to her. "I just wanted to say thank you, for everything."

"It truly was more for my benefit than yours, my dear," said Evelyn, smiling.

"Oh?" asked Edith, her delicate eyebrow raising up in curiosity.

"Yes, it gave me the opportunity to have you all to myself."

Edith blushed. "I suspect we'll dress for dinner. If you'll excuse me."

Evelyn headed upstairs as Edith braced herself to face her aunt. She found Rosamund sitting on the read couch with a cup of tea in one hand and a magazine resting on her lap. She looked up at Edith when she heard the door open.

"There you are darling." She put the teacup and the magazine on the setting before standing up to greet Edith. Rosamund's lips delicately graced Edith's cheeks in welcome. "I came as soon as I heard what happened. Come sit and tell me everything. Would you like a cup of tea?"

"No thank you." Edith's mood fell as she recounted the argument she had with her parents. She couldn't believe that three days had already passed since then. After everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours between she and Evelyn, it felt it had been three years. Her interactions with Evelyn always left her with a feeling of completeness, as if they had been so close for decades rather than just eight months.

"So am I disinherited?" Asked Edith, drily.

"Of course you aren't!" Rosamund emphatically declared. "Mamma would never allow it and nor would I. Your mother is very worried for you, my dear."

"Really?" asked Edith, honestly surprised. But then, she supposed, it would be her mother who would be worried. She was, after all, still very American despite her living in England for so many years. "Well, I suppose it doesn't look very proper."

"My dear, don't be purposely obtuse. Your mother loves and so does your father. They worry that they have lost you, for good."

"Perhaps it would be best if I did cut all ties," sighed Edith.

"How can you possibly suggest such a thing?" exclaimed Rosamund.

"Don't pretend like that wouldn't be the best solution for everyone. I am tired of my parents' love only lasting as long as I do what they want. Furthermore, it would probably be best to cut ties before my sins reach the public."

"What do you mean?"

"Someone must have told mama and papa. How else could they know? I know it wasn't you nor Evelyn and I doubt grandmama would. It's only a matter of time before all society finds out. At least they can claim plausible deniability of my relationship with Michael and say that they disowned me as soon as they found out."

Rosamund's face fell. She couldn't believe how badly Cora and Robert had let Edith down. It was no wonder why Edith had fallen into Michael Gregson's arms so easily.

"I wish I could make you understand that you are loved and appreciated in this family, Edith. I know you don't believe me, but you are. They will stand by you."

"But only after everything I have given up?" demanded Edith. She didn't understand how Rosamund could be so sure, now that everything was over with, and not before.

"Edith, I'll kindly remind you that I did think you should have told your parents before we decided to go to Switzerland," Rosamund said sharply, but not unkindly. "You are the one who didn't think it would be a good idea."

"And I was right!" exclaimed Edith. "The argument I had with them a few days ago just proves it." She breathed deeply in order to reign her emotions under control as Rosamund took a sip of her now lukewarm tea. "Anyway, how did Mary take it? I am sure she had a lot to say."

Rosamund rolled her eyes at Edith. "I don't believe she knows. I think your parents thought it best not to say anything to the others, including Mary. Not when the situation is so delicate."

"Well thank mercy for small favors," said Edith. She was relieved that in the case she did decide to, and was welcome to, return to London, she wouldn't have to put up with Mary's judgmental smugness.

"Not tell me, how are you feeling, my dear?" asked Rosamund.

"Honestly?" asked Edith. At Rosamund's nod, she continued, "Overwhelmed. I am tired and angry and so very sad. I miss Peter terribly. I have never felt pain before like I do now. In a way, I have lost everything. I feel like I have no purpose any longer. But on the other hand..." Edith trailed off. She wasn't certain that she wanted to tell Rosamund just how close she was with Evelyn and what their plans were, but she supposed it was inevitable.

"On the other hand...?" Rosamund prompted gently. She knew that Evelyn Napier had come to her nieces rescue and she had seen their interactions both in the last week and during her and Edith's long and tiring sabbatical. Evelyn inspired Edith to have the confidence she needed, nothing like what Gregson had inspired. Gregson had evoked rebelliousness and recklessness in Edith, while Evelyn made her seem more...mature, somehow. It was as if Gregson had been the young adult phase that Edith had never really experienced because she was too focused on trying to gain Robert and Cora's love. Finally, with Evelyn, Edith seemed like she was truly a woman who was wanted and clearly adored.

"Evelyn asked me to marry him," declared Edith. Rosamund gasped. "And he knows everything," Edith continued before her aunt could ask. "I haven't exactly agreed yet. I did agree to give him a chance, though. I don't know. He just understands me in a way that I thought only Anthony had but unlike Anthony, he's willing to go after what he wants. Almost like Michael. Strangely, I suppose he has all of the best qualities that I liked in Anthony and Michael."

"And if Michael does come back?"

"Aunt Rosamund, I have accepted that Michael won't be returning. It's been far too long since anyone has had any word of him. I admit, I did...do love him. But I am still so very angry with him. I don't know if I am quite ready to move on, but I do know that if I don't try...I can't live like this."

Rosamund breathed a sigh of relief. Edith was much smarter than most people gave her credit for. She had always known this about her niece, but still she had feared that this year had been too much for her, that it had broken her. "I can't tell you how glad I am to hear you speak like that. You are much stronger than everyone gives you credit for, even yourself, my dear." Rosamund grabbed Edith's hand and squeezed.

Edith smiled softly at her aunt.


	12. Chapter 12

Edith stared at the mirror, lost in her reflections of the last two days. If she didn't feel the tingling sensation from where Evelyn had held her hand all day, she would have thought this had been a dream. It was strange how quickly her life was changing, but she supposed she should have been used to her life changing at a moment's notice. In so many past instances, it had.

She recalled something her grandmother had said to her before she had left for Switzerland.

"_My dear, all life is a series of problems which we must try and solve. First one, and then the next and then the next until at last we die."_

Edith sighed. It was a rather morbid and depressing thought, intended to be supportive. She understood what her grandmother was saying, and for a time the words had the correct effect. After all, for a while she was able to pull through everything. It was only when her parents had dragged her skeletons out of the closet that she thought she might have broken. She had been ready to give up. But then Evelyn came along like a knight on a white horse, there to rescue her.

It was a strange feeling, being rescued. She had always been the one to pick up her own pieces.

A knock at the door halted her ruminations. Mrs. Hughes slowly entered the room.

"You asked for me, milady?" Elsie didn't quite know what to expect of this summons. Perhaps Lady Edith wanted to ensure her silence after yesterday's debacle? If she did, she certainly didn't have to worry. Elsie wouldn't tell a soul what had happened or what had been revealed.

"Yes, I asked you here because I have something for you." Elsie's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as Edith stood up and a grabbed a package that had laid on her desk. She handed the small box to Mrs. Hughes.

"This is for you. A token of my appreciation for everything you do for us, for me. Last night, well, I daresay you went far beyond any of the duties in your job description.I just wanted to say thank you."

Elsie smiled. She was shocked. She had ever expected anything like this. She hadn't thought of last night as anything more than doing her duty.

"Shall I open it now, milady?" she asked.

"If you'd like it." So she did. Inside she found a silver chain with a silver key-shaped pendent. There were tiny diamonds outlining the small key.

"This is far too much, milady," said Elsie. She could tell that the gift was an expensive one.

"No, it's really not. I don't think you get enough appreciation around here, at least I don't give you enough praise and so I am giving it now. I chose a key because you are the keeper of the keys in this house. I hope you don't think it's too cliche." Edith was rambling, she knew.

"It's not milady, truly. I must confess, I am very touched." Elsie was fighting back tears in her eyes. The last time she felt so affected was when Lady Grantham had told her the family would take care of her if she had had cancer.

"Now," Edith began, bringing back the sense of formality, "I believe Aunt Rosamund and Mr. Napier will be waiting for me."

"Of course, milady." Elsie left the room, leaving Edith to take one last look in the mirror at her appearance before she, too, exited and went downstairs.

When Edith entered the library to find Rosamund and Evelyn easily conversing about some topic or another. In any case, they seemed to be getting along, which was a relief to Edith. Of course. she didn't expect her aunt to be rude or anything like that. She simply wanted the two people who she knew were firm in her corner to like each other.

Evelyn stood up when he heard her enter. "There you are. Dinner has already been announced if you are ready."

"Whatever took you so long?" asked Rosamund as she, too, stood up.

Edith explained to her aunt about the present they had bought for Mrs. Hughes in Ripon and that she had given it to the housekeeper before coming down.

Rosamund smiled at her niece. Everyone had always said that dear sweet Sybil was the kindest of the three Crawley girls, but Rosamund had always know that Edith could be very gentile and giving. Perhaps that was Sybil's gift to her when she had died.

As the three dined, Edith asked after her aunt's intentions on remaining at Downton.

"Well, I had intended to stay as long as you needed me. But I can see that you are in good hands." Edith blushed.

"Indeed she is," said Evelyn. He too was smiling. "I promise to take very good care of her."

"I believe that," responded Rosamund. "Although I trust the two of you to be here alone, we have worked far too hard to maintain your reputation and, I fear, that would not be a wise course of action."

Edith opened her mouth, but Evelyn spoke before she could. "I agree with Lady Rosamund, Edith. We wouldn't want tongues to be wagging."

Edith sighed but nodded. "So what do you suggest?" She looked towards her aunt.

"I think you should return to London," proposed Rosamund. She held up here hand to deter any protests from Edith. "I know that you don't want to face your parents but you will have to eventually. It is probably better to do sooner rather than later."

"You right," conceded Edith. "But I truly don't believe I could handle being in that house with all of them as they are so clearly happy over Rose's Season and Mary has all of her suitors…" Edith rolled her eyes.

"You act as if you don't have your own suitor trailing after you," Rosamund commented under her breath. "In any case," she said loudly, "you need not stay at Grantham House."

"What are you suggesting? That I stay with Evelyn or at a hotel…?"

"No, of course not," Rosamund scoffed. "That would hardly be proper. No you'll stay with me."

"That's not exactly facing the problem, though, Lady Rosamund," Evelyn said, eyebrows furrowed.

"You'll arrange a meeting with your parents on neutral ground. Somewhere public. Perhaps someplace nice for tea?" suggested Rosamund. "That way, both sides will be forced to remain dignified."

For a while, everyone sat quietly, thinking over what Rosamund had just proposed. Evelyn liked the idea. It would allow him to return to work and to remain near Edith; although, he did confess that he liked the idea of her staying with him even better, but knew that would never happen. However, it wasn't his place to say anything. Rosamund had laid out the best possible plan. Now it was up to Edith to accept.

"Alright," said Edith at last. "When shall we leave?"


End file.
